About 7 years ago I was faced with a choice to have children or not….

I really thought about this choice over a couple of years as I turned 30 and in the end decided that I wasn’t really bothered.  I didn’t recognise the feelings my friends describe as they spot every baby in the street and inwardly (and some of them externally) cluck…..

I do notice every poodle in the suburb and goo at them like a nutty dog women.

I couldn’t clearly picture a future that included children, most variants of my future planning didn’t seem to have a easy place for them to fit.  I concluded that with no overwhelming maternal urge currently present I would choose no.

So seven years later my sister got pregnant….. I was nervous, would I suddenly want what she had??

I fell in love with my nephew the moment my sister refused a beer at the rugby and whispered in my ear “I’m pregnant”.  I waited with anticipation to feel him move and see the first ultrasound blob photo and hear what the blood test results were and breathed a sigh of relief with my sister that all was well.  His birth coincided with my first trip to Antarctica and I had all fingers crossed that he would come early so I could meet him.  He didn’t and I had to fly to Tassie and get ready to go to Antarctica, knowing that he would be a week old by the time I got back.  Then a miracle happened my plane to Antarctica was delayed by 18 hours and I got a txt from my sister saying I’m on my way to hospital….. I jumped on the next flight from Hobart to Melbourne and made it to the hospital 3 hours later, my sister was in transition and I was going to see my nephew born!!

He was beautiful, all pink skin, scrunched up eyes, red hair, screaming and hungry.  His skin was so soft that I was afraid to touch him, and he was so small and perfect.  I clucked for an hour or so and then handed him to my brother in law and flew off to Antarctica.

Over the next few weeks I cautiously checked my head for maternal urges… My husband cautiously observed me for signs of cluckiness….. Phew none
Now I can relax and enjoy spoiling my nephew