The last 18 months have been terrible…………. exhausting, upsetting, stressful, nasty and full of negative energy.  It was my own fault I took on a job that I was passionate about and thought that I could change the world, I poured my heart and soul into it, made enemies, changed culture and tried my hardest.  Then after 12 months I found myself with no room in my head for anything but thoughts of work, I couldn’t learn new things, I couldn’t focus on my family, I had lost alot of friends, I was tired.

So I took a step back.
I don’t want to be a watcher but it is fascinating, I have always felt that organisational culture comes from the top, the personality, leadership style and ethical views of the manager guide the way a business is run and the type of people that are employed.  But true change takes time and effort, and in this case I didn’t have the energy or stamina to see it through.  Have the negative personalities with more to lose then me won?  They certainly won against me, but will they win the war and will the little business that I have invested so much in once more become the sad little second rate place………

How will I react over time to the discrimination and bullying that I am encountering, at times it makes me angry and determined to fight for justice and then I feel the tiredness coming again and I think why would I fight, why not just enjoy my step back, have a adult gap year,find new adventure and leave nasty negative people to each other……………