I went glamping again this weekend, I say glamping but really it is not it is more like camping.  Glamping infers a level of comfort that is not really present at -20 with winds of 70kms hr.

This weekend we were going to Fang, it had been rather a big night the evening prior and 2 out of three of us were more then a little worse for wear.  I was nominated as the driver, so it was slow going.  I am not quite used to noisy little Hagglunds yet, they look so cute but they sound so awful.  They roar along sounding like they are going full steam when they are only doing 12 kms hr.  As you drive on the Plateau the Haggs are on tracks not wheels so you feel all the bumps in the ice and snow, in addition the window was leaking so their was snow blowing in and melting on my back.

By the time we had got to Fang I needed a bowl of Deb and a glass of raspberry cordial before I was feeling able to function properly.

The hut was frozen solid, no-one had visited for nearly 2 months so there was ice on the inside of the walls and the door had frozen shut.  The snow had piled up outside of the loo door.  But all in all it was still there intact and waiting for us to shelter inside.  The huts are old shipping containers that have been converted into little four bed (2x bunks) huts complete with tiny kitchenette and cold porch and an outside loo.

We pull up and start a rehearsed routine of getting the hut ready, person one unload the generator & fuel and get the micro furnace going.  Person Two roof and door vents open, gas on and get the gas heater going. Person Three water container & kettle on, grey water container and poo bag in loo.  We quickly got our bags out of the Hagg before they froze and into hut.  Jobs done, explore (or eat Deb) and wait for hut to defrost.

This time it took nearly 3 hours before we stopped making clouds with our breath and could take our thick goose jackets off and start to relax.  As my thick woollen socks were quietly steaming in front of the heater and I had a cup of hot coffee in hand, I actually realised that I quite enjoy glamping.

The evening in a hut in Antarctica follow a fairly predictable pattern, it is time tested and almost a tradition.  A cheese platter, bottles of wine and port and a deck of cards or board games appear and for the next few hours that is it.  The wind outside, occasionally rattling in the roof or floor vents, sometimes snow falling or blowing past the window.  Sometimes an aurora in the sky.  Always a quietness, no internet, no phones, just the hum of a generator and a candle glowing.

So some of the traps and tips for young players glamping in Antarctica

• practise peeing into a bottle at home rather then trying to learn in -20 with 70 kms an hour winds… the wind adds unexpected excitement
• take hut booties or a change of socks those floors do not warm up
• Take alcohol hand rub… that just a given for any camping tho really
• Do not spill wee in cold porch, it freezes and you will be reminded of your failure for the next six months every-time some-one visits the hut
• Take a good book and a light
• Take a head torch
• Do not apologise for farting, just pretend it never happened and so will every-one else unless we are onto the 3rd bottle of wine, then it is funny
• Take lots of wine, it is amazing how much you can drink in the fresh air
• Fray Bentos pies are gross do not be talked into eating one
• Do not put lid on wee bucket… it will freeze on and you may find yourself at 0200 in nothing but thermals crossing your legs and wrestling with a wee bucket
• Card games are great
• Make-up in not necessary but deodorant is
• You can never have to much cheese
• Yes you can run to the outside loo in just thermals but you only have about 4 mins before you freeze
• Do not let the door go, the wind may catch it and take your fellow campers head off
• Wear sports bra and be prepared to sleep in it, there is no privacy at all.
• On the privacy thing, we all fart, snore and talk in our sleep.  It is part of the human sharing that occurs on a camping trip, do not be afraid to go to sleep.
• First to open eyes has to fill up generator and put on heating… don’t be first to open eyes.
• Wear a hat in bed, it gets cold.
• Don’t touch the wall, you may well freeze to it.